Walls, That's All They Are
by multi-fandoms-weirdo
Summary: Gilbert had been in prison for almost 3 years for a crime he didn't commit. Its been taking a horrible toll on his boyfriend of 5 years, Roderich. Gilbert see's this as Roderich comes for his weekly visits and this worries him as time passed and Roderich's physical appearance is enough to prove this toll. Gilbert knows he must see Roderich. His only option, escape the prison.
1. The First Visit

Chapter 1: The First Visit

**Heeeey there~ **

**Here's my first PruAus, I do hope you like it.**

**The idea for this story's been in my mind for a while so here it is.**

**Warning for cursing, smutty pictures, and obvious angst.**

**Rated for future chapters**.

**Other Minor Pairings are GerIta, FrUk, Spamano, RusAme, DenNor**

**I don't own Hetalia of its characters**

**Quick Sum of Story: **Gilbert has been in prison for almost 3 years for a crime he did not commit, the one who actually committed the crime yet to be found. This has been taking a tremendous toll on Roderich, his boyfriend of 5 years, though the 'stubborn priss' as Gilbert can so colorfully put it won't admit it. Gilbert's not stupid though, he knows all this is stressful and bothering to Roderich. Lately though, Gilbert can see how this is affecting him physically. This worries Gilbert. He knows he needs to see his boyfriend without a sheet of glass keeping them apart, but there's only one way to do that: he needs to escape prison.

The barred doors opened up with a mechanical beep to sound it off. Prisoner 117856383 or 'Gilbert Beilschmidt' was being escorted by two guards to the Visiting Hall. He saw a few of the other prisoners being escorted as well to the same hall by other guards. Crimson eyes scanned the many cells he passed that rested on two separate floors, thinking for the umpteenth time of how and why he got here. He seemed to think of his incarceration every time someone visited him.

_Gilbert got out of his car and raced into the small convenient store due to the pouring rain outside. The cashier looked up once the bell rang to see the pale albino enter, take his dark red hood off, and shake himself from the rain. Gilbert looked up and grinned ever-so widely._

"_Hey Hans!" Gilbert greeted the older cashier who was grinning at him as well._

"_Hallo Gilbert! How's my favorite 'Prussian'?" Hans asked with a wrinkled grin._

_Said 'Prussian' laughed victoriously._

"_As awesome as ever Hans! Anyway, ran out of beer and that tea shit Roddy likes so much." Gilbert said, thinking of his ill boyfriend who specifically asked for chamomile tea._

_Hans nodded and pointed to an aisle. _

"_Tea's in the 'home remedies' aisle and you know where the beer is." The German man pointed out. _

_Gilbert grinned and nodded._

"_Awesome!" Gilbert said as his own way of thanks which the cashier understood from the years of knowing the albino._

_Gilbert down the 'home remedies' aisle as directed by his friend to search for the tea his Austrian boyfriend told him specifically to get. Luckily with years of knowing the said Austrian, Gilbert practically memorized every tea the stuffy Austrian liked to drink so it wasn't hard to find the said tea boxes, a quiet triumphant sound slipping out of his mouth. Even though the tea itself was easy to find, he never had an idea of how much boxes to get because the tea box numbers changed regularly which always managed to confuse the German man._

"_Damn Roderich and his always changing number of tea." Gilbert thought out of humor._

_With that thought, Gilbert slipped his I-Phone out of his jacket pocket, scanning through the list of contacts until it landed on his favorite Austrian's name. He pressed the icon to send a message and started pressing the letters._

"_Hey Roddy, at store, found yur tea how much boxes do ya need?" he sent the text and waited._

_As he did, he decided to go ahead and grab his beer. The lights in the store flickered before turning off completely. He heard Hans curse in German behind the counter._

_Gilbert's phone vibrated and he let the glow from the phone caress his face as he read Roderich's text._

"_Just three for now." It read._

"_Thx Roddy, the awesome me will get it all!" he texted with a smirk._

_He backtracked to the 'home remedies' aisle and took three boxes of chamomile tea before he heard Hans shuffling with something behind the counter and his phone vibrating again. He took it out and read it._

"_Ja ja, I know, just get it Gilbert." It read._

_Gilbert smirked and texted back._

"_Luv ya too Roddy. C ya in a few minutes." He texted back, before hearing the store doors open and the bell ring. He looked up to see a man about his height and weight, enter with his face covered by his hood. Hans looked up from behind the counter and stand._

"_Hallo, how can I help you?" Hans greeted as usual before the sound of a gun clicking echoed through the store._

"_The money." The man simply said. Hans raised his hands in surrender and Gilbert ducked._

"_Shit!" Gilbert yelled in his mind. _

_Gilbert knew he had to help Hans from this maniac. Gilbert remembered his phone though. He quickly and quietly took it out of his pocket and pressed the speed dial for the police. He put his phone away and peeked over the aisle a bit to see if the man was still distracted at Hans so he could sneak up and hopefully disarm the man and wait for the police._

"_Sir, I beg you, I don't have much in this register. Take whatever you want from the store; just put the gun away so no one can get hurt." Hans tried to convince the man. _

_Gilbert snuck around a couple of the aisles to find the one that was behind the man so it could be easier to grab him. It was dark in the store so that would make it easier._

"_I want nothing else, I want the money. Now give it to me or I will shoot you." The man warned in a grave voice._

_Hans slowly came towards the register and pushed in the code to open it. He then spotted Gilbert creeping up towards the man. Gilbert saw him and urged him to be quiet. Hans was happy to oblige. He however had to distract the man long enough for Gilbert to grab the man._

"_I am sorry but the code must have been changed." Hans lied to the man._

"_A shame. Well I didn't want witnesses anyway." The man said before pointing the gun at Hans. _

_Gilbert then pounced the man from behind. The man shot the gun but his direction was changed and the bullet shot another way. Gilbert found himself wrestling the man for his gun. The man grunted and struggled from Gilbert's grip before finally prying him off and punching him in the jaw, throwing Gilbert backwards into a shelf along with a swift but hard kick to Gilbert's head._

_Gilbert's back lay against the shelf, dazed and dizzy. The man said something that Gilbert couldn't comprehend at the moment. He did comprehend the sound of a shot ringing through the store and a thud. The man pointed the gun at Gilbert's head about to shoot but was stopped at the sound of a car door closing. The man seemed to panic, not knowing what to do for a moment. He then suddenly put the gun in Gilbert's hands and wrapping his fingers around it. _

_He then ran out the back door of the store, leaving a dazed but conscience Gilbert against the shelf. _

_Gilbert meanwhile, groaned awake from him blacking out from the kick to the head, rubbing the spot he head been kicked, and looking around._

"_H-Hans?" Gilbert called lowly, a strike of lightning lighting the store for a moment. Gilbert stood up, so far unaware of the weight in his hand. _

"_Hans?" he called lowly again before cautiously stepping up to the counter. _

_Another lightning strike and the lights flickering back on. That's when Gilbert spotted the crimson stain on the counter and the pool of blood quickly spreading on the floor behind the counter. Gilbert's eyes widened at the sight and stepped back, speechless. He then felt a new weight in his hand and looked down to see the gun that shot Hans. What was it doing in his hands? He didn't have time to think before the doors swung open and more guns cocked at Gilbert. Wide crimson eyes looked over towards the doors to see the police he called, yelling 'Freeze' and 'Get down' in German._

Armed robbery and first-degree murder was what they charged the albino with and no matter the amount of begging and yelling for Gilbert to properly explain, there was no evidence found that another person entered the store after Gilbert due to nothing pointing to that fact, or the fact that the security cameras went off with the electricity and the fact that the gun had only Gilbert's finger prints on it.

They gave him a 10 year sentence, 5 for good behavior but Gilbert knowing himself, would not be a model prisoner because of the fights he was sure to get into.

He of coarse was right about that, because of his reputation with the other prisoners that wanted to 'bribe' him or just plain kick his ass, which wasn't a good one.

Gilbert yelped loudly when one of the guards escorting him accidently tripped and his elbow hit his side which was bruised from his most recent fight.

"Watch it!" Gilbert snapped.

The said guard gave him an apologetic look before standing straight and resuming the escort.

He passed more cells, one of which he did his best to ignore the cruel smirk and stare directed at him.

"_Just ignore that son of a bitch Gilbert and you should be fine."_ He thought furiously, passing the cells finally.

With a relieved sigh, he looked ahead to see his booth which was directed at a wall with a number of plexiglass windows with phones next to each booth so as to talk with the other on the other side. One of Gilbert's cuffs was taken off and strapped to the steel pipe that connected to the wall of his own booth. Once he sat down, he immediately spotted the very people he wanted to see for a while: his younger brother Ludwig with his bubbly Italian boyfriend Feliciano, and his best friends Francis and Antonio with their own partners Arthur and Lovino. He looked around for Roderich though but didn't spot him. He felt his heart sink a bit but managed to perk up and grin as his friends and Feliciano running over to his booth with Ludwig and Arthur only coming over with less excitement while Lovino just walked over, grumbling about how he didn't want to be in the prison.

Ludwig sat down on the chair in front of the booth, taking the phone as well as Gilbert.

Ludwig was going to speak when Francis and Antonio spoke first.

"Hey Gilbert, long time no see!" they both greeted excitedly.

Gilbert laughed loudly.

"Aww did you ladies miss me that much?" he joked with a smirk, Lovino grumbling.

"No fucking way in this damned world would I even think about you, you loud-mouthed bastard." Lovino said loud enough for Gilbert to hear.

Antonio chuckled at the aggravated Italian and slung an arm around his shoulders, much to the cursing Italian's discontent, but despite some curses and protests, he just let Antonio keep his arm rested around his shoulders.

Ludwig sighed on the other end, Feliciano making his way to the German's lap.

"How are you doing?" Ludwig asked.

Gilbert shrugged.

"Eh, bout as good as I'll be. I'd be awesome if it weren't for these sons of bitches who like to fuck with me." Gilbert said simply, glancing around behind his brother for a certain Austrian face.

Ludwig nodded.

"I think you can manage well brother." Ludwig said to the phone.

Gilbert grinned.

"Coarse I can, Luddy! I'm too awesome to not manage!" he boasted with his unusual laugh.

Ludwig again sighed, Feliciano looking at Gilbert through the glass.

"Ciao Gilbert~!" The bubbly Italian greeted with a wave.

Gilbert spotted Francis again flirting with Arthur, the British man snapping at him and pushing the Frenchman away, making said Frenchman pout playfully. Francis then came over as well as Antonio.

"Mon ami, when will they let you out of this hole, it is so quiet and non-Gilbert-y without you!" the Frenchman cried dramatically, Antonio laughing.

"I have to agree with Francis here. But hey, the first thing we'll all do when you get out is have a drink as celebration, right?" the Spaniard said to him with a cheeky grin.

Gilbert grinned as well and nodded quickly.

"Fuck yea we are! That's what's keeping me sane here, is the prospect of beer!" Gilbert laughed to his Spaniard friend through the phone.

"Perhaps I could make some celebratory scones for you when you get out." Arthur suggested, Francis and Lovino immediately saying no, Gilbert following them in the chain-link of 'no's'.

Ludwig turned to them and requested them to leave. They all nodded to him.

"Well, bye for now mon ami~ see you later~" Francis said with a wave.

"Bye bye Gilbert! See 'ya soon!" Feliciano chirped.

"Adios for now Gilbert!" Antonio chirped with equal excitement as Feliciano with Lovino and Arthur grumbling at the loudness emitting from them all.

With that, everyone except Ludwig went outside. Gilbert looked at his brother, suddenly serious.

"Where's Roddy? Is he even here?" Gilbert asked as he saw his friends leave.

Ludwig nodded and sighed.

"Ja he is. He's just waiting outside. He wanted to see you without Francis or Antonio around…Gilbert I must tell you something." Ludwig said to Gilbert which instantly grabbed his attention.

"What is it? Is something wrong?" he asked quickly.

"It's about Roderich. I've been checking in with Elizabeta and she said he hasn't been out of his house for a while aside from work. Even there, his boss said he's been very distant and his work suffering a bit. Roderich's boss gave him a three month's worker's comp. to catch up on his work and hopefully solve whatever's wrong with him." Ludwig explained.

If it wasn't the fact that Gilbert hadn't seen Roderich when the visit started, it was that that had Gilbert starting to worry about the Austrian's well-being. The last time he saw him was almost a week ago and he seemed fine but with this new information, Gilbert couldn't help but wonder what's been occurring with the Austrian's life during his incarceration besides this newfound information. He might just have to ask him when he comes.

"Distant? Catching up on work? That doesn't sound like the Roderich I know. Is he even talking to anyone?" Gilbert asked, hoping Ludwig's answer was yes.

To his relief, his brother nodded.

"Ja he does, but generally it's a short conversation. He's even doing that to Elizabeta. If I had to guess, I'd think Roderich's depressed judging from his behavior." Ludwig guessed before he heard the twin metal doors behind him open for someone to step through them. Ludwig and Gilbert both looked at the doors to see an elegant figure step through.

Gilbert felt his heart flutter once he laid eyes on Roderich who was dressed as elegantly as he always was. With Roderich's pale and soft skin with his chocolate brown hair and violet colored eyes, Gilbert could only describe him as a beautiful angel, which he called him before during one of their dates, remembering the thick blush that covered his face once Gilbert told him that.

Gilbert felt himself smile as the Austrian crossed the room towards his booth and Gilbert could swear he saw Roderich's pale face light up a bit when he saw Gilbert, though if Gilbert ever asked, Roderich would deny it.

Ludwig stood up with the phone in his hand still and looked at Gilbert. "Well, until next time, ja?" he said as a departure.

Gilbert gave him a curt nod before Ludwig walked past Roderich without saying a word. Once Roderich sat down, he straightened himself up and brought the phone to his ear. It took him a moment to speak though.

"Good afternoon Gilbert. How are you fairing?" the Austrian asked.

Gilbert smiled warmly.

"Not to bad Little Master, what about you?" he asked, taking note that Roderich's voice did sound a bit tired and strained.

"I am well, thank you." Roderich told him, Gilbert knowing it was a lie.

Gilbert's smile didn't waver though when he put his hand flat against the glass.

"I hope so Little Master, I'd hate to see that pretty face so bad off." Gilbert said in a joking manner that made Roderich blush and turn away.

"Stop that Gil, I'm fine." He spoke, laying his own hand against the glass over Gilbert's hand.

Gilbert looked at his hand, wanting to touch its soft and warm skin again or to have his calloused fingers wrap around those soft fingers of a pianist such as Roderich, wishing the glass could easily break so he could touch him. He pushed those thoughts from his mind however and faced his boyfriend.

"Luddy told me you were having a bit of problems. Is that true?" he asked the Austrian whose face became a bit redder from embarrassment.

"I-I don't think anything's wrong honestly." Roderich lied, Gilbert obviously not believing him.

Gilbert sighed and Roderich was silent for a moment.

"I've heard you have been getting into fights." Roderich said a bit sadly.

Gilbert shrugged.

"Yea a couple cause of this bastard put in here for assault with a deadly weapon who's been giving me problems." Gilbert admitted, Roderich raising an incredulous brow.

"Gilbert, you can't get into fights that might keep you in here longer." Roderich said with a slight plead in his voice.

Gilbert caught that little plead and pursed his pale lips.

"I'm sorry Roddy. I'll try to not get in anymore, but at a price." Gilbert told his boyfriend with a familiar smirk with Roderich giving him his natural scowl at the smirk.

"What could I possibly do to get you do stop a simple thing as fighting Gilbert, just what?" he asked with irritation already creeping in his voice which Gilbert found cute a lot of the time much to Roderich's expense.

"Well, Ludwig told me you haven't been out of your house for 1'000 years, so I want you to get out more. Maybe you can go have a drink like a real German and not all that tea. I swear with all the tea you drink, I'd think the color of your piss was darker." Gilbert laughed his loud and obnoxious laugh while Roderich was huffing.

"I think I'll stick to tea, and tea doesn't turn your urine a different color Gilbert!" Roderich snapped in the phone, Gilbert again laughing at Roderich.

Once Gilbert calmed down, he looked back at Roderich with his grin still present on his face.

"Anyway in all seriousness, you should get out more. Hey maybe Lizzy can take you out drinking." Gilbert suggested cheekily.

Roderich sighed.

"If anything involving me getting out of my house only involves drinking, I think I'll pass. Besides, Elizabeta's been too distracted with her Japanese friend Kiku for some reason which I'd rather not speak of, knowing her little 'hobby'." Roderich said, both men shuddering at the thought of the woman's hobby in taking lewd pictures.

Gilbert then suddenly remembered something that was connected with Elizabeta's hobby. He smirked.

"Hey Roddy, remember the time that we found out about her 'hobby'?" he asked with a grin.

Roderich shuddered and nodded.

"Ja, unfortunately." He answered, the vague memory slipping into his mind.

_Gilbert and Roderich had been dating for about 6 months at the time and Gilbert had just moved in with Roderich from his brother Ludwig's basement, much to Ludwig's happiness since he had started dating the bouncy and bubbly Italian Feliciano and he thought it would be embarrassing if Gilbert was present in his basement with his thoughts of exactly what Ludwig would be doing with the little Italian (which he still thought at times just to see Ludwig's reaction once he told him)._

_Right now, their long time friend Elizabeta was moving some stuff in her storage unit and she asked the two to help her out which they both gladly accepted._

_Both were present in the Hungarian woman's home and in her garage where she told them specifically what to put in her car and what to keep in her garage._

"_That's a load there. I'll take this load to storage. Both of you take a break while I'm gone." Elizabeta told them with a smile._

_Luckily both men took the hint and sat down in separate chairs with a sigh._

"_What does she keep in those boxes? They're so fucking heavy!" Gilbert said with an exasperated sigh._

_Roderich didn't answer verbally, he just shrugged, letting his head fall backwards tiredly._

_Gilbert scanned the garage out of boredom until his crimson colored eyes landed on a small rectangular box near the door that lead inside her house with the word 'Pictures' written on the lid in Sharpie marker. It stroke a sense of wonderment suddenly in Gilbert so much that he stood up, walked over, and picked it up._

_Roderich turned his head towards Gilbert and saw what he was holding._

"_Gilbert, what are you doing?" he asked._

"_Nothing." Gilbert simply answered, going back to his chair and sitting in it with the small box in his lap._

_Now Roderich was interested in the small box but knew it was highly impolite to go through his friend's stuff without her permission._

"_Gilbert, don't go through Elizabeta's personal things!" Roderich said with irritation in his voice._

_Gilbert groaned._

"_But I'm bored Roddy, plus she won't be back for a bit. I also think it would be fucking funny to see the pictures her mom took when she was a baby. Boy she'd be so pissed if we saw that, I think she'd kill us! But damn it would be funny, right?" Gilbert said with his loud laugh while Roderich was fuming a bit._

"_That's exactly why we shouldn't! Those are her personal pictures and I think she'd be very angry if we went through them!" he screeched._

_Gilbert rolled his eyes at the Austrian._

"_Keep your panties on Roddy, what someone doesn't know can't hurt them right?" Gilbert said with a matter-of-factly voice. Roderich huffed and crossed his arms when Gilbert scooted his chair closer to his._

_Gilbert then grinned as he opened the box, expecting Elizabeta's old baby pictures of her in the tub, thinking of the laughs that would echo. He looked over to Roderich who to his surprise was watching with him. His grin was now one of triumph once he opened the box. However, old pictures from the woman's past wasn't what they saw, it was something far more different, and disgusting to Roderich who's violet eyes were wide as well as Gilbert's crimson ones, said albino's grin completely gone._

"_What the hell!?" Gilbert yelled, looking into the box, filed with pictures of his friends…and their partners._

_Many of Gilbert's friends were gay and had boyfriends such as his friend Matthias with his Norwegian sweetheart Lukas or his American friend Alfred with his large and intimidating Russian boyfriend Ivan, the list could go on really. But as the albino and his own respective sweetheart looked at the pictures of almost every one of his friends with their love interests…during sexual intercourse._

"_She even labeled them and put dates on the back!" Gilbert screamed in his head, unable to really talk out of shock much like his Austrian boyfriend next to him. _

_A few of the pictures had Japanese handwriting on the back, signifying that Elizabeta didn't share this 'interesting' hobby alone, Gilbert immediately knowing who it was. Gilbert (much to his own discontent, mind you), went through the pictures of his friends and their partners during intercourse to see that many of the people he knew were subject to Elizabeta and Kiku's cameras. _

_Gilbert saw Matthias with Lukas underneath him as if he seemed to be begging the Dane for something, _

_his best friend Francis and Arthur while Francis was biting Arthur's bare neck and grabbing his ass, _

_Alfred with his bear of a Russian boyfriend in the middle of thrusting into the American, and even a 'few' with Antonio and Lovino with Lovino topping in a couple of them and Ludwig with Feliciano under him with the Italian's face flushed with a blush and Ludwig's hands on the Italian's hips and chest. _

_Gilbert couldn't help but think a bit proudly of his brother for a split second for going to third base with Feliciano, but remembered exactly what he was looking at and that he was still scanning through them. He stopped when his hands grasped a familiar picture of him and Roderich. Him and Roderich during intercourse._

_Wait._

_Him and Roderich._

_Intercourse!_

_Him and Roderich during intercourse!_

_Gilbert and Roderich screamed at the pictures of their own 'sexy time' as Gilbert liked to call it, though now was not the time for joking. When Gilbert just managed to regain some of his shocked senses, he could see it was of their first time when he saw the rain behind the windows, remembering it rained that night._

"_Oh dear, you found those?" a feminine voice said with slight worry in her voice. _

_Both men snapped their heads to the Hungarian woman who was smiling instead of throwing things which greatly confused the embarrassed and speechless German and Austrian._

"With that, no sex for a whole month and when the month was over with, it was still awkward! She is so going to pay for that someday!" Gilbert exasperated with a laugh afterwards.

Roderich didn't respond. He stayed silent for a moment that Gilbert slipped in as well. Though it was comfortable, Gilbert couldn't help but feel a sense of dread from Roderich.

"_Maybe I shouldn't have brought that up."_ The albino thought before Roderich looked up at the clock overhead.

He sighed.

"They said I couldn't be long." Roderich said sadly.

Gilbert felt his once happy spirits that came from laying eyes on his beautiful Austrian die away at the thought of him leaving. He looked down for a second before nodding and looking back up at his boyfriend whose violet eyes were as sorrowful as his own.

"Well, I'll see you again next week, ja?" Gilbert asked a nod as a reply from Roderich.

Gilbert looked over to his hand which was still on the window with Roderich's hand in the same spot on the other side of the glass. The two looked at each other sadly before they put the phones down and leaned up towards the glass and pressed both their lips against the glass for a make-shift kiss, both wanting the glass non-existent to actually feel each other's warm lips instead of the cold glass.

Roderich didn't realize a single tear roll down his cheek.

Once the two broke away sadly, they both stood. Gilbert saw the tear on Roderich's cheek and instantly wanted to hold the Austrian and tell him it's alright. He remained silent as Roderich dusted himself and walked out of the hall.

With a sigh, Gilbert turned to his guard.

"I'm ready. Let's go." He said in a monotone way.

The guard came over and unlocked the one cuff attached to the steel pipe to re-cuff it to Gilbert's wrist before taking his arm and walking back down to Gilbert's cell, the albino not getting the picture of the tear on Roderich's face as he left. He just hoped Roderich's words were true and he would be alright.

Outside the visiting hall however, Roderich rushed to the bathroom once he closed the doors. He looked around to see if he was alone and once he saw he was, he went to the sinks and started shaking with silent sobs finally escaping his throat. His face in his hands and his shoulders shaking roughly, Roderich thought of how he came to this.

When Roderich had learned that Gilbert had been arrested for robbery and murder, it dropped on him like a ton of bricks. Once he confronted Gilbert about it, the albino's first words out of his mouth were that he didn't do it, that he could never kill his friend out of cold blood like that. Roderich believed him knowing he was incapable of something like that, but it still weighed heavily on him because he was being sentenced and no matter how many times Roderich talked to Gilbert's lawyer, there was simply nothing pointing to anybody else who committed the crime so no evidence could be used unless the killer himself just showed up at his door step admitting he did it and Roderich knew that was impossible.

Roderich knew his work was suffering because of all the stress weighing down on him since Gilbert's imprisonment because of Roderich's constant worry over what would happen to Gilbert and the fact that Gilbert admitted he was fighting with the other prisoners didn't make it any better.

Roderich also knew that his sleep schedule wasn't helping his coming depression. He hasn't had a decent night of sleep for a long time because of the nightmares that would plague his mind when he slept, nightmares of Roderich's loneliness and fears.

He seemed to be shutting down due to everything: the work he refuses to complete, his nightmares, Gilbert's imprisonment. Gilbert had always said Roderich was the delicate one of the two and Roderich knew he was right. Gilbert was always the stronger of the two, emotionally, mentally, and physically while Roderich himself was fragile all together because he wasn't built like Gilbert was, much to the Austrian's displeasure sometimes.

Roderich felt weak, ready to crack any day, but trying so hard to keep perfect balance so as to not fall and ultimately break into millions of little pieces never to get back together.

It scared him.

He felt so alone due to this. He never liked to be alone, no matter how many times he looked like he cherished solitude. Gilbert knew this and that's one of the things he loved about the loud-mouthed albino, was that if he felt like it, he could see through a person and no matter how many times Roderich said he wanted to be alone, the albino never left his side despite the many protests that came and the number of glove slaps he received.

The albino told Roderich one day that he'd always be there to protect him and never leave the Austrian's side, no matter what.

Roderich sobbed more at that memory.

"Y-You…bastard…! Your not here now! W-Why?" he sobbed in his hands.

The bathroom door opened.

"Roderich? Are you in here?" a deep German voice spoke.

Roderich instantly perked up and wiped his eyes before Ludwig saw him that way.

"J-Ja I am. I'll be out in a minute." Roderich answered quickly before turning a tap on and splashing some cold water on his face.

With a sigh, he looked at his disheveled self through the mirror. He sighed again and rubbed his face.

With that he stood up straight and walked quickly out of the bathroom towards the parking lot. He just wanted to go home and away from the place that held his lover behind cold iron bars.

_**And chapter one is finished! Love it? Hate it? Any other way, its being written.**_

_**Reviews are welcome as always!**_

_**Hope you all enjoyed, stay tuned for chapter two~!**_

_**~Sunny**_


	2. The First Signs

Chapter 2: First Signs

**Chapter 2 is up~~~**

**Reviews are love, and I love love C:**

**Warning for violence, angsty Roderich, and Gilbert and Lovino's mouths**

**I don't own Hetalia or its characters**

**Quick Sum: **Gilbert's friends and brother stop by for a brief visit and though Gilbert is happy to see them, he can't help but feel something's a bit off when Roderich was the last to come and talk to him. Ludwig makes it apparent that Roderich is going through some problems that the said Austrian won't name, making Gilbert worry. When he talks to his Austrian sweetheart, he asks him but Roderich won't admit to him that he was indeed not doing well, emotionally. Roderich, having all the stress and loneliness weighing down on him along with other things, Roderich is afraid of what his future holds, especially when his love isn't there to comfort him.

* * *

Gilbert was thrown against the long lunch table, sending a spur of pain jolting through his torso as his back smacked against the corners.

"Get up, you fucking freak and fight like a man!" a deep but loud voice boomed to Gilbert.

Gilbert's red eyes looked up from the floor he fell on at the large and looming figure over him, screaming for him to fight. Gilbert was happy to oblige. He took his shoulder outward and rammed the man into the wall hard enough to hear and feel the jolt of pain going through his opponent. Gilbert wasted no time standing straight and punching the man in the jaw, sending him to the floor in a heap.

The said man's name was Jerg. When Gilbert had met the man, he was warned to stay clear from him instead of a simple hello. Least to say, Gilbert didn't appreciate the welcoming and regularly got into fights with the man. Gilbert had learned from a few of the friendlier prisoners that he had been put in for assaulting his ex-girlfriend with a metal bat when she threatened to leave him. Gilbert had also been told that she survived, but just barely and lived with head trauma since then.  
Gilbert immediately classified the man as a full blown sadist because of how he beat his girlfriend and how the man seemed to live off the pain he gives to the other prisoners.  
His strength and self-proclaimed reign was tested however when Gilbert came along and told him to back off. Jerg seemed to realize that Gilbert was a Not-to-fuck-with type of guy which only pissed the man off more about Gilbert and always tried to find a reason to fight the albino, albeit a small reason, or simply no reason at all, just to see how far the albino would go as far as fighting went though he always remained unsatisfied for a while. Now Jerg was just in it for kicks (literal and pun-intended) much to Gilbert's growing anger and impatience.

Gilbert's ears rang with the cheers and jeers from the other surrounding prisoners as he kicked Jerg in the side and took a metal food tray and started smacking the man with it until Jerg grabbed a hold of the tray and pulled Gilbert to the ground, making sure he landed with a smack. Jerg pinned his forearm to Gilbert's neck and started repeatedly punching him in the face. Gilbert, already racked with pain and pinned, started kicking at Jerg's stomach. One attempt was successful and Jerg stopped punching and instead started gasping for air.

An opening.

Gilbert took this chance and punched the man upwards by the jaw, knocking the man backwards. Gilbert shot up, teeth gritted, snarling, and raged. He went down on the man with his elbow out wards, aiming for Jerg's stomach, again paralyzing him.  
Gilbert sat up and started repeating what Jerg was doing to him seconds ago.

Gilbert seemed to forget what he was doing to the man until he just barely heard a whistle erupt and silence the room of yelling and screaming. Gilbert stopped mid-punch to look behind him. The warden was there with a whistle in his mouth and fuming.

"What the hell possibly happened now!?" the middle-aged man boomed angrily, snapping Gilbert out of his rage.

"_Oh fuck."_ Gilbert thought, knowing he must have over-done it again.

He looked down at Jerg and saw the man barely breathing, bloody lips and nose, and an already swelling black eye. He slowly stood up and backed away from Jerg, his hand still balled in a fist. He un-balled it wincing as he did because of the soreness already blooming in his hand.

"Again, this excuse for a human fucking being wouldn't stop fucking with me! I couldn't just let it happen!" Gilbert protested in a still angered voice.

Though the warden wasn't one to hit a prisoner unless they really deserved it, he was real close to hitting Gilbert. Gilbert knew this, and he'd rather take Jerg and his buddies than the warden any day. Gilbert had heard rumors about the warden that a large and very strong prisoner went against the warden one time and he was sent to the hospital for a month and went through P.T because his legs were broken, one with the bones shattered because he went against the warden. Gilbert knew they were rumors but he knew better than to see if they were true.

Gilbert straightened and waited for the storm that was sure to come.

"Dammit Beilschmidt, this is the 3rd time this month!" the warden shouted.

"Technically 4th but as usual, he started it." Gilbert said lowly, hearing the fuming warden snarl.

"I don't fucking care, it happened again! Take that piece of shit to the hospital wing before I take him to an early grave!" the warden ordered the other guards who quickly obliged, one speaking in German into a talkie for a gurney.

"Beilschmidt!" the warden yelled in a commanding tone that made Gilbert swear the man was in the army at one point, which any other way made him flinch an make sure he was standing straight.

The warden heard the gurney come in and the guards put Jerg on it before hearing the gurney roll away. He sighed and massaged the bridge of his nose.

"Clean yourself up. You have visitors." He said in a calmer tone.

Gilbert gave the warden a curt nod before he rushed to the nearby bathroom. He looked at himself in the mirror and saw Jerg's work: a quickly bruising cheek, a swollen and split lip, and a bloody nose. He groaned before taking a few sheets of paper towels and soaking them in luke warm water to wash the blood away.

Gilbert came out to see his guard with cuffs. Gilbert obediently put his wrists out for the cuffs to feel them lock around his wrists and his guard led him out to the visiting hall. The person he saw when he approached his booth surprised him. Lovino was just sitting there, looking as angry as usual with Ludwig and Feliciano behind him. Gilbert's guard attached ones of his cuffs to the steel bar next to him. Gilbert picked up the booth's phone and saw Lovino pick his up as well.

Though Lovino wasn't the greatest person to get along with (how he and Antonio ended up together Gilbert or anyone would ever know), they had a mutual friendship with each other because of their brothers. Though they both were the older brothers, their younger ones were generally somewhat better than them. That's mainly how Lovino and Gilbert met when they were in college. While Ludwig and Feliciano possessed wonderful grades and good relationships with people, Lovino and Gilbert weren't liked by many people if not by Gilbert's loud, obnoxious and prideful nature, it was Lovino's easily irritated and angry nature that caused the two boys at the time to fight a lot. It was when Feliciano and Ludwig met when Lovino and Gilbert met during a school rally. The two didn't start out too well because Lovino hated Gilbert for his loudness and brashness. One night, Gilbert got bored and called the aggravated Italian to drink with him and Lovino agreed because he was bored as well. When the two began talking, they found they had a lot in common what with their social life, their grades, and their brothers and how they both loved their brothers but admitted they were jealous of them in some way and after that if the two were bored at some point in time, they would go out drinking together. They would even make a weekly plan of whether to go to ones of their homes or a bar, the types of entertainment, and even which of the two could get completely wasted if they wanted too (it was generally Gilbert).

"Hey there Prussian bastard." The Southern Italian greeted in his own way, having the liberty of addressing the Eastern German man by the original country which rested east of Germany at one point which Gilbert would say 'I come from awesomeness for a country' and would almost always refer to himself as 'The awesome Prussian.'

"Ciao Gilbert! Nice to see you!" Feliciano greeted with a wave and with Lovino groaning.

"Feli, space, did you fucking forget that already?" Lovino grumbled.

Gilbert laughed.

"Hey Lovino! Did you still miss the awesome me from last week?" he asked with a cheeky grin which made Lovino scowl angrily.

"Not in a fucking million years you bastard, Feli and this potato bastard dragged me along, also cause I didn't have other shit to do." Lovino grumbled quickly in the phone, Gilbert giving him a mischievous grin.

"No I think you just missed my awesome presence." Gilbert said with his unusual laughter.

Lovino again scowled.

"Fuck off, you perverted weirdo, I just came because I was fucking dragged into it!" he argued angrily, making Gilbert laugh and Lovino growl at him.

"Shut up you aggravating fucking bastard before I stomp in there and choke the shit out of your fucking body!" the Italian threatened.

Ludwig stepped in before security was called.

"Feli, can you take your brother for something to eat? I need to talk with Gilbert alone." Ludwig told the bubbly Italian.

Feliciano smiled and nodded, his strange curl bobbing up and down with his head.

"Sure thing Ludwig! Now that I think about it, I'm pretty hungry too. I wonder if there's a pasta place nearby cause I could go for some pasta right about now! Do you want anything Ludwig?" Feliciano said so fast that Ludwig barely caught it.

He shook his head.

"Okay! See you soon Gilbert! Come on Lovi, I'm hungry!" Feliciano chirped.

Lovino groaned and stood up, waving Gilbert goodbye. Gilbert grinned when he heard the nickname Feliciano had given Lovino.

"Bye Lovi~" the German said all too sweetly which made Lovino snap his head towards him with a look that showed he was about to kill someone.

"I swear to fucking God if you start fucking addressing me like that, I'm gonna end up in this shithole for fucking assault charges cause of me kicking your fucking ass!" the Italian threatened loudly, making Gilbert bend over laughing.  
Lovino glared at him but resorted to grumbling unheard threats towards the 'Prussian' as he and Feliciano (who remained blissfully unaware of what just occurred), went to the doors leading out of the hall. Once Feliciano opened the doors, he was met with Roderich's violet and tired gaze.  
"Hi Roderich! You can go in I think now if you want!" Feliciano told Roderich with a warm smile. Roderich didn't say anything as he entered the hall, letting the Italian brothers leave.

He spotted Gilbert and Ludwig talking to each other in Gilbert's booth. Roderich had a sick feeling that it was about him which he didn't appreciate. At the moment though, he felt less caring about it because he was so tired. If Roderich had to count how many hours combined of his sleep, he'd have to say at least 8 hours all together from the entire week due to nightmares. Though Roderich had attempted to go back to sleep at night or nap in the daytime, it was impossible whether it was because he couldn't or didn't want too, he couldn't say for sure.

"Hey Roderich~" a feminine voice chirped as Roderich heard the doors close. He looked over and saw Elizabeta and her usual cheerful self.

"Hello Elizabeta. What are you doing here?" he asked nonchantaly.

"Here to see my favorite boys of course! What else could I possibly be here for?" she answered and asked innocently, receiving a Well-I-have-a-couple-ideas look from Roderich which made the Hungarian woman giggle.  
Roderich couldn't help but notice the digital camera around her neck.

"Anyway, I was around and decided to visit Gilbert and you. Ludwig told me that everyone visits him on Thursdays so I stopped by." She told Roderich.  
Roderich nodded and the two embraced.

"So wonderful to you again Elizabeta." Roderich said when they broke apart.

"Well I had to visit anyway for your birthday. I got you something really nice." Elizabeta told him with a warm grin.

Roderich raised a brow and Elizabeta's grin wavered.

"You remember your birthday's in about 3 weeks, right?" she asked, concerned.

Roderich thought for a moment until he realized what Elizabeta was talking about. Now that he thought about it, October was just around the corner and his birthday was on the 26th of October; he had forgotten because he's been so busy to worry about stuff like his birthday.

"Oh. Yes I remember." He lied.

Elizabeta raised a brow of her own, trying to decide if her Austrian friend was lying or not.

She couldn't see through him as well as Gilbert did. She took a closer look at Roderich and saw his face was paler than it usually is and there were tell-tale signs of bags under his eyes from a jumbled sleep schedule.

"Roderich are you okay?" she asked worriedly.

The Austrian looked at her and quickly nodded.

"Ja, couldn't be better." He lied again.

Elizabeta saw the lie this time and raised another incredulous brow.

"You look like you haven't slept in years." She said bluntly, Roderich taken back.

"I assure you Elizabeta, I'm fine and I'm sleeping fine." He told her just as bluntly with irritation in his voice.

Elizabeta didn't budge at the obvious irritation coming to the Austrian whom would never use such tone with her unless it was necessary like when he found out about her secret hobby. She dug through her leather purse until the shaking of a bottle filled with small objects rang lightly in her ears. She stepped closer to Roderich until she was arm and arm with him. He raised a brow and looked at her.

"What are you-"he was stopped when he felt something shoved in his coat pocket.

His eyes widened a bit.

"What did you just put in my pocket?" he asked her quickly and quietly.

"Sleeping pills." She answered simply making Roderich scowl.

"Why might I ask?" he asked, irritated.

"So you can get a whole night's sleep at some point." She again answered simply and casually.

Roderich sighed.

"I told you I'm fine. Now take your pills back." He whispered to her.

She shook her head and grinned.

"This is why I gave them to you in a prison so if you take them out, you become a sudden celebrity to the guards~" she sang too sweetly for Roderich.

He felt himself pale and take his hand out of his pocket, realizing she was right. Sometimes he wondered how strong the woman's sanity was or if she just loved teasing everybody as such.

Gilbert laughed and Ludwig smiled.

"I swear that little Italian of yours was made to be fucking funny." Gilbert told Ludwig.

Ludwig had told Gilbert of his week so far and a specific date he and Feliciano went on when they hiked around in a forest and Feliciano accidently went away from Ludwig to pick a couple of flowers for some reason and when Ludwig saw him, the cowardly Italian was ambushed by a goose and started running away with the said goose chasing him. Ludwig said it took 30 minutes to find the Italian who was high up in a tree and afraid to get down because of the height and the thought that the goose was waiting for him. With an amount of climbing and convincing, Ludwig managed to get Feliciano and himself out of the tree safely but with Feliciano clinging to Ludwig the rest of the date.

"Ja, after that, I think he'll be afraid of geese for the rest of his life" he said with a chuckle.

Gilbert wiped the tears from his eyes and looked up over Ludwig to see Roderich and Elizabeta. He beamed. Ludwig looked over to the two and back at Gilbert with a small smile.

"Well, I better find Feliciano and Lovino while you talk to them." Ludwig said to his older brother.

Gilbert nodded and waved goodbye.

"See 'ya later Luddy!" he exclaimed with a grin as Ludwig went over to the two and said something to them before hugging Elizabeta and leaving. Once he did, Elizabeta ran over to the booth and sat down, putting the phone eagerly to her ear with a wide grin.

"Holy shit I knew I spotted a familiar man in a skirt!" Gilbert laughed heartily, Elizabeta rolling her leaf green eyes playfully.

"Are you sure your talking about me?" she asked with a mischievous grin, feeling the glare and the blush Roderich was possessing.

Gilbert looked up at Roderich when Elizabeta said that with a smirk.

"I don't know~" he sang, seeing Roderich turn away and say nothing, making the albino laugh at him.

Gilbert was waiting for the irritated comment from the Austrian. When it didn't come, Gilbert's grin left and he looked at Roderich who was still turned away. Elizabeta looked at him as well, her eyebrows furrowing in worry.

"Roderich?" she gently called to the Austrian, lightly touching his arm. He looked at her and sighed.

"I-I'm sorry, that was rude of me. I've been a bit off but I will be fine." Roderich lied with a nervous chuckle.

Gilbert only worried more and Elizabeta wanted to help but had no idea how at the moment. Gilbert looked at Elizabeta.

"Hey Lizzy?" he said through the phone to get her attention which she gradually gave him.

"Why don't you step out for a moment? I'll talk to Roddy." He said through the phone.

She nodded, stood up, told Roderich she'd be right back, and left. Roderich looked at Gilbert with a knowing look and sat down.

"I know you want to talk about something Gilbert, so just say it." He said, getting to the point.

Gilbert had to admit; Roderich was never one for getting straight to the point that fast so he was a bit taken back but recovered himself to speak.

"I know as well that something is wrong Roddy, so don't try to hide it." Gilbert said, getting to the point himself.

Roderich looked at him with tired eyes. This gave Gilbert a chance to look at him closely. Gilbert noticed he was a bit paler than usual and Gilbert could see the dark circles appearing under his eyes. Gilbert also noticed his hair was a bit disheveled and not so styled like Roderich preferred it to be.

"Roddy, your hair is a bit out of place." He pointed out.

Roderich looked up at his hair and chuckled nervously before straightening it out.

"Better." He simply said.

Gilbert just looked at him, silent for a moment.

"Gilbert…your face." Roderich said worriedly, noticing the bruises and split lip.

Gilbert took no mind to his face he just focused on the fact that Roderich changed the subject quickly. Gilbert sighed in defeat, knowing he'd get nothing out of Roderich today.

"Yea got in another fight today. Sorry Roddy." He said with a cheeky grin, Roderich sighing and rubbing his face.

"Gilbert, I thought you said you wouldn't get into anymore!" he exclaimed quietly.

Gilbert's grin stayed where it was.

"Sorry Roddy, but the same fucker keeps messin' with me and I can't just let him beat the shit outta me, I'm too awesome!" he boasted, making Roderich scowl.

The two conversed for a while about small things (or Roderich scolding Gilbert for fighting and Gilbert sighing dramatically), and Elizabeta came back a few minutes after she left and conversed with them as if neither of the three had any worries like Gilbert's imprisonment or Roderich's unnamed problems. Gilbert found it peaceful all the same, but still had a sense of dread from Roderich again. He wondered why Roderich refused to say anything to anyone about what his problem was. Gilbert knew he'd have to coax Roderich into telling him what the problem was because he knew the Austrian was as stubborn as a mule and would never tell anyone of his predicaments until somebody (generally Gilbert) would convince him otherwise and most of the time, it worked.  
Though Gilbert, seeing his own predicament, he couldn't just bribe or coax Roderich as easily anymore, he had to straight out talk with him about it. Luckily, knowing himself all too well, the albino knew how to do just that. There was however a problem: Gilbert had to find the right moment to talk with Roderich during any other visits, most likely if the Austrian had a decent amount of sleep and found himself in a talkative mood.  
The reason this was a problem was because Gilbert wasn't very patient with almost anything (Roderich getting ready for a date, waiting for someone to say something when they pause mid-sentence, etc…) and even with the little bits and pieces of patience he had to learn when living and dating Roderich (who was also as impatient, mind you), Gilbert knew that this would screw his mind up due to all the thinking he was bound to do in the next week until his stubborn Austrian boyfriend fesses up to his problems and that could calm Gilbert's spirits. Right now, he just had to talk as normally as possibly to his secretive boyfriend to establish a type of normality that Roderich brought to Gilbert even when they were separated by glass.

Gilbert had to admit without question, that it was nice to have a sense of normality once in a while, looking at the place he was forced to call home.

That was until it came the time for him to go.

Gilbert could never properly explain it but he always felt a piece of him die away and his heart sink further down the black hole it was hanging over when Roderich would leave. Sure he always felt upset that his friends and brother when they had to leave, but Roderich, like the day he met him, was more special than everyone else, but Gilbert wouldn't admit it.

* * *

_The warm autumn leaves shifted in the wind as the 14 year old Gilbert was strolling through the park he and his greatest friend in the world Elizabeta would play in as children and hang out as coming teenagers, though today, she had to stay home because she got sick and cramps for some reason after Gilbert had the 'pleasure' of seeing the girl (who originally thought she was a boy a majority of her life) complain about a sore chest and start bleeding in a place Gilbert never mentioned and ultimately panicked to the point where Gilbert took her home with her jacket wrapped around her waist so no one could see what had happened. Once Gilbert had dropped her off at her house, her father told him to leave for a while. If Gilbert had to guess, his poor friend was embarrassed which he understood enough. He knew his friend would get over this and if anyone saw her in that state and made fun of her, Gilbert knew she could take care of herself as well as any boy. _

_That was only a couple days ago though and no one mentioned Elizabeta's problem so he figured everything was alright. Humming the Prussian anthem as he walked, Gilbert looked ahead and saw the softened sun hover over head on the horizon shedding its soft light on the multi-colored leaves on the ground. Gilbert found it pretty to look at honestly but when he followed the sun's light, its glow rested on a smaller figure sitting on a bench among the leaves. Gilbert stopped walking and took a closer look at the figure sitting on the bench who was yards away. It was a boy. He had never seen him before so he must have been new to this part of Gilbert's home town. He was bewildered enough to step closer to get a closer look at the boy's face. When his crimson eyes lay on the mystery boy's face, he could only describe it as beautiful. The boy had short, styled chocolate brown hair that shined like silk and his face was heart-shaped and a healthy sort of pale. Gilbert saw his clothes were pretty fancy what with his black slacks, black shoes and dark purple coat. Gilbert even saw a white scarf thing around the boy's neck to keep the delicate body part warm from cold breezes that would pass by. Gilbert took another look at his face. He had distant violet colored eyes that rested behind a pair of rectangular glasses that shined like orbs. Gilbert couldn't help but scan the beautiful boy more than once. He noticed the sun's light was shed on the boy which made it look like the boy had a golden glow about him. For a minute, Gilbert thought he was an angel. He just had to meet this boy._

_Slowly he stepped up with his hands in his jeans pockets toward the boy, making sure not to startle him and make him go away. Once Gilbert was feet away from the boy, he suddenly felt his heart skip a beat by just looking more and more at this angel. Though Gilbert knew he wouldn't easily know the angel without saying hello. So with a sort of nervous twitch of his mouth, he said it._

"_Hallo." He said with a bit of hesitation in his voice._

_The beautiful boy snapped back into reality at the accented voice greeting him and turned to Gilbert. Gilbert again felt his heart skip a beat when he had a full look at his face. He noticed the little mole on his left cheek. _

"_Hallo." The boy greeted back._

"_He has a pretty voice." Gilbert thought._

"_I've never seen you around here before. You new?" he asked with a grin._

_The boy looked at him with confusion at the grin before slowly nodding._

"_Ja, I am. I originally came from Austria." He told Gilbert who had taken a seat next to him on the bench._

"_Austria? That country is such a prissy one!" Gilbert laughed, making the boy scowl and cross his arms._

"_Austria is not a 'prissy country', it is elegant and certainly with more manners." He shot back irritated._

_Gilbert mock gasped._

"_And Germany is not mannered?" he asked in mock hurt._

_The boy looked at him with irritation in his violet eyes which Gilbert found cute for some reason._

"_No, just a certain German sitting next to me." He said, perking his nose up._

_Again Gilbert gasped in mock hurt and collapsed on the boy's lap, making him yelp and blush. Gilbert looked up at him. _

"_I can feel myself slipping away…so…slowly…from…lack of manners…" he spoke in a dramatic voice like he was dying._

_The boy looked down at him._

"_Mannerisms, and maybe you'll learn some in the afterlife." He shot which made Gilbert chuckle._

"_Need…Austrian priss…to…kiss it better…" he said, putting his arm up to reach the sky dramatically, noticing the obvious look of shock on the boy's face._

"_W-What!? No! I will do no such thing!" the Austrian screeched._

_Gilbert started laughing, his head still resting in the Austrian's lap._

"_Well I tried." He joked, making the boy scowl at him and huff._

_They were silent for a moment before Gilbert spoke up._

"_I'm Gilbert by the way. The Awesome Gilbert Beilschmidt who's 14 and from the awesome country Prussia!" he greeted, putting a hand out for a shake. _

_The Austrian looked at him with irritation but from what Gilbert could tell, he was too polite to push him away so easily. The boy then took Gilbert's hand and shook it._

"_Roderich Edelstein. I'm 12 years old and from Austria. It's a pleasure to make you acquaintance Gilbert." He greeted back._

_Gilbert thought about the name 'Roderich' and found it suited this Austrian. The more Gilbert looked at Roderich, his heart would beat faster than its usual pace and Gilbert was sure it would explode if it beat any faster. After their first meeting, Gilbert knew Roderich was special from the day he met him because on any other day when the two would cross paths albeit at school or anywhere else, Gilbert's heart would beat faster and his mood would lift._

* * *

Gilbert smiled at that certain memory. Anytime Gilbert would feel down like now, he would always think of the wonderful memories he and Roderich shared albeit funny, loving, or anything else because he shared them with this man he knew he loved with all his heart and maybe since the day he met him.

He however had yet to say it to Roderich and truly mean it with all his soul. He hoped he'd get that chance soon.

He remembered that Roderich and Elizabeta were going to leave and his happiness was shot down again.

"I'll need to go back home cause Kiku's gonna visit soon and I need it spick and span~" Elizabeta sang again too sweetly for Roderich or Gilbert's taste, knowing where a simple 'meeting' would lead too.

Gilbert swore that Elizabeta and Kiku turned into two creatures of the night (literally) with one mind that would ultimately stalk their gays friends with their partners and secretly take photos of them during intercourse which Gilbert found ultimately terrifying about the woman and her quiet Japanese male friend to the point where he would feel the need to check his home for secret cameras and keep the curtains shut if he were ever at home with Roderich alone and at night albeit if they were going to have sex or not. Roderich felt the same way, thankfully.

"Roderich, I could take you home if you want." Elizabeta offered.

Roderich shrugged.

"Thank you Elizabeta. I'll be out shortly." He told her.

She smiled, nodded, and skipped out. Roderich looked at Gilbert through the glass with the phone still his hand like he was going to say something, and he was but stopped. Gilbert saw the distant look cross his face.

"Hey Roddy?" he gently called.

Roderich blinked and looked up at him. He chuckled nervously and rubbed the back of his neck.

"O-Oh my, that's highly impolite of me." He said, trying to make an excuse of his spacing out.

Gilbert sighed.

"Roddy, go home and get some sleep. You need it." He told Roderich over the phone.

Roderich attempted to argue but Gilbert put a hand up to stop him from talking.

"No buts, no arguing, go home and get your ass in bed and go to sleep. You need it Roddy and I won't take 'No, I'm fine.' From you." He said in a gentle but equally demanding tone towards his boyfriend to get him to listen.

Least to say, Roderich was astounded at his tone that spoke seriousness which Roderich thought was a miracle from the albino in question. Roderich knew he couldn't argue with Gilbert so he just sighed and nodded.

"Alright, I'll try. But I still assure you, I'm fine." He told somewhat firmly in the phone.

The only part Gilbert got was that he would try. He gave him a curt nod.

"Good thing, cause you look like shit." He said, making Roderich sigh again.

"I get that Gilbert, you've told me before." He said nonchantaly.

Gilbert spotted Elizabeta at the doors leading out of the hall, waiting for Roderich. He looked at Roderich.

"Well, look's like you gotta go Roddy." Gilbert said, looking back at Elizabeta again with Roderich following his gaze.

"Ja it seems so." Roderich said turning back to Gilbert. Gilbert and Roderich stood up again and like last week and all the other weeks before that, they connected their lips to the glass for another make-shift kiss with the same dreadful feeling following the two as they broke it. Gilbert took one last look at Roderich and his distant look was now one of longing and sadness. Gilbert knew how it felt. Roderich turned around and left the hall. Gilbert sighed sadly and told his guard the visit was over and that he wanted to go back to his cell, the feelings of confusion, worry, sadness, and impatience circulating through his head for one man.

That said man didn't speak to Elizabeta while she drove him back to his somewhat large but otherwise comfy enough looking home. It was a white house with black shingles and a double-door front door that was colored navy blue and windows large or small almost everywhere but all with the shades drawn. The front yard was a little un-kept with the slightly longer grass but it still possessed enough homeliness with the Edelweiss flowers planted left and right of the front door which his mother had planted herself and a grown willow tree in the front yard with the branches a bit tangled in the iron gate that surrounded the house. Roderich had lived in this house since he moved here from Austria when he was 12. He shared many happy memories with his family and everyone else he loved here. He just looked at it now as a place to seclude himself instead of a home.

"Well, I'm off. You know my number so if you need anything, I'm just a phone call away." Elizabeta told Roderich with a warm smile.

Roderich looked at her and returned a small smile.

"Ja, will do." He said.

He felt her hand grasp his and give it a light squeeze before they embraced and Roderich got out of the car and opened the Iron Gate, going down the stone path to the front door. Once he stepped in his darkened home, he made no attempt to open the shades to shed light in the dark home. He just shut his door, locking it in the process and going upstairs without a word. He went into his study where he heard a chirping sound from the little yellow and fluffy bird that rested in a big enough cage for him when the little bird had heard Roderich come home. Roderich went over to the stand next to the cage and pulled out a bit of bird food.

"Hallo to you too Gilbird." He said as he filled the little bird's empty bowl full of food where the fluffy thing glided down to it and began to eat. Roderich had brought the little bird that he and Gilbert owned to his study so when he'd have to do his work, he wouldn't be so lonesome or so Gilbird's chirps could extinguish the silence that would deafen Roderich. He remembered when he and Gilbert found the little bird a about four years ago when they were simply having an innocent little stroll through the neighborhood.

* * *

"_That demon of a woman hit me in the head with a frying pan Roddy; I do NOT see that as simple frightening!" Gilbert exclaimed making Roderich sigh._

_Gilbert and Roderich were walking around Roderich's neighborhood when Gilbert started telling Roderich of the night before when Gilbert saw Elizabeta in an appliance store which he was there for as well to get more forks for his brother Ludwig because all the other forks were disappearing for some apparent reason. He was walking past an aisle with cooking pans and pots and spotted the Hungarian woman. _

"_Hey Lizzy-"he yelled happily before a large frying pan found its way to his face, making him fall backwards._

"_She was giggling as well after she apologized and still bought the damned thing!" Gilbert again exclaimed._

"_Well any other way, you scared her and she must have been acting on instinct, if nothing else, you know how she is." Roderich told Gilbert in a huff while the albino was massaging his still sore jaw._

"_Whatever, I just know she owns the damn thing and who knows what type of evil she'll do with it!" Gilbert yelled to the air, Roderich getting irritated._

_There was suddenly the sound of light chirping when the two were walking further down the sidewalk. They both stopped and listened before the chirping came again._

"_Hey Roddy, where's that coming from?" Gilbert asked. _

_The two listened again before the chirping came back from their right. The two turned that way and walked forward to see a large tree in front of them while the chirping still went on. Gilbert circled the tree until he spotted a yellow and fluffy thing on the ground. It looked like it could barely fit in the palm of Gilbert's hand. He picked it up and saw it was a small bird with a barely visible beak, beady black eyes and its obvious fluffy body. It began chirping more out of fear than anything else but Gilbert just petted its head with his finger. _

"_Hey Roddy, this little guy must've fallen from its nest!" Gilbert yelled to Roderich who was yards away. The Austrian came walking over and saw the yellow ball of fluff in Gilbert's hand. Roderich raised a brow and Gilbert stood up. _

"_I think he broke his wing or something. That's not awesome." Gilbert guessed and the bird chirped as if in agreement which Gilbert must have understood._

"_You must have little guy! Well we'll have to take care of that! Come one Gilbird!" Gilbert exclaimed with the new name he gave the bird making Roderich sigh._

"_You already gave it a name Gilbert, and one that equals to your own?" Roderich said in a disbelieving tone making Gilbert smirk._

"_Well ja! The awesome little bird needs a name that goes with awesomeness!" he said proudly before starting to walk away while conversing with the little bird and the bird replying. _

_Honestly, Roderich couldn't be more confused at the sight as he trailed behind Gilbert._

* * *

Even after the bird did indeed heal from a broken wing, it still stayed around Gilbert if not on his shoulder, then flying around his head and had become an official pet for Gilbert and Roderich had to admit, the little bird was good company though he knew he'd never establish the relationship the bird possessed with Gilbert even when he and the bird became closer due to Gilbert's absence.

"I saw Gilbert again today and he told me to get some sleep." The Austrian said to the bird.

Gilbird gave him a sort of look of agreement to Gilbert's statement to Roderich which Roderich caught and sighed.

"Even his bird agrees." He mumbled before looking back at his fluttering little companion.

"Fine, I'll try." He told the bird who resumed his flying around in the cage.

Roderich spotted the large amount of printed paper work on his desk for work. It was a lot he had to admit but he saw no motivation what so ever to do most of it. He just left the room without a word and too his and Gilbert's originally shared bedroom. Like all the other rooms in the house, the shades were drawn and the only light was the sunlight from outside shining through the curtain's fabric. Roderich went in the bathroom adjoining his room and turned the light on. He looked in the mirror and saw his distant and dead looking eyes. He just ignored them as best he could and began undressing himself to sleep. His coat came off first along with the waistcoat underneath it. Roderich then took his black slacks off along with his shoes and socks until he was only in his blue boxer shorts and one of his white dress shirts. He exited the room for a brief second to get a more comfortable shirt to sleep in.

One of Gilbert's shirts.

He didn't realize he grabbed one of Gilbert's shirts until he was unbuttoning his dress shirt. He looked away from it to keep unbuttoning his dress shirt. He had it unbuttoned enough so that the collar and shoulders sagged past his own shoulders, showing his collar bone. He looked at himself briefly and saw the iron cross necklace with the iron cross itself resting on the dip between his showing collar bones. It was also Gilbert's. He remembered Ludwig coming to his home one night with a small box of items that a security guard gave to him when Gilbert was sentenced because Gilbert couldn't have them during his sentence. The items were his I-Phone, a simple silver key-chain, and his iron cross necklace Gilbert received as a birthday gift a long time ago. Roderich wore it often after that. He didn't know why exactly, he just wore it all the time. He closed his eyes for a moment before opening them again to unbutton the rest of his shirt but stopped when he took a closer look at his own body. His torso was paler and he was thinner. He turned around to look at his back and shoulder and saw his shoulder blades becoming more obvious to the world. He also looked at his spine and it to was the same as his shoulder blades, making it more noticeable with the bone's parts poking out. Now that he thought about it, he didn't remember the last meal he had. He just pushed it off and unbuttoned his shirt completely, exposing the rest of his thinning torso. Roderich looked down and saw his ribs poking out just a bit as well. He again pushed it away and put Gilbert's black T-shirt on. Roderich looked at himself in the mirror again and saw Gilbert's shirt was a few sizes too big for him so the collar of his shirt went down past his neck and the short sleeves were very roomy and almost went to his elbows. He stepped back to look at himself more clearly. Even his long, hairless, effeminate legs showed obvious weight loss.

Roderich felt he could care less though so he just went to his bed and laid down, pulling the covers to his chest and facing away from the window. His hand grasped the iron cross around his neck before the tears that he held back started pouring from his eyes, his glasses still resting on his face. Roderich took a moment to take them off and place them gently on the night stand next to his queen sized bed where he proceeded to lat there, silently sobbing like he would do most of the time recently. He buried his pale face in a pillow to let the tears soak in the fabric, half-expecting the bed to dip to signify someone sitting on it along with a hand rubbing his back or arms to wrap him in a hug. He erased those thoughts from his head, knowing they wouldn't happen.

He was alone and he was going to sleep alone.

He was thinking about Gilbert's words to him to go home and sleep and how he wanted to argue against that statement because of the reason he had such little sleep.

Roderich didn't allow himself to sleep because of the nightmares that were sure to come and wake him up in a cold sweat or breathing heavily. The silence didn't help. He then remembered he had a CD player on his night stand that he would only allow to play classical music. He reached over and played the player to hear Mozart's Rondo Alla Turca start to play.

"_One problem solved I guess."_ The Austrian thought before feeling his eye lids start to drift close. Once they did, Roderich felt himself utter a few small words.

"Good night, Gilbert." He mumbled to himself.

He then silently fell asleep.

* * *

**My God the love I received from the last chapter just wanted to make me cry!**

**Anyway, I decided to try and make the chapters longer because the story seemed so liked :3 **

**I'll see when I can write the next one cause of two things:**

**I still have to post another chapter for another fanfiction of mine**

**I won't have the access or a lot of the time this week.**

**Review, favorite, follow and all that junk and read it like a boss!**

**~Sunny**


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